Ohhhh mama! Today’s blog is a deeply personal one. We’re diving into a chapter of my life that shaped who I am today – the journey of becoming a single mom. Every journey is unique, and mine started with the unexpected, navigating the waters of single parenthood with four little ones, aged 2 months to 5 years, one of them with a terminal diagnosis. In March 2020, I found myself at the intersection of challenge and resilience, on maternity leave just as the world was shutting down in the early days of the pandemic and becoming the sole provider and caregiver for my children. Today, I want to share my story and offer some advice to the incredible single moms out there who might be finding their own way through this journey.
Cry, Embrace, and Keep Going
Cry. Grieve the life you thought you’d have. It’s okay to feel the weight of the challenges ahead. Life is going to throw curveballs, and it won’t be easy, but I do believe that you have the strength within you to figure it out. I encourage you to embrace the process of healing, and remember that vulnerability is a sign of strength.
Advice for the Journey
- Face the Talk: Don’t be afraid of what people might say. This is your journey, and you are the one walking through the fire of adjusting to a new lifestyle. People may gossip, speculate, or share opinions, but it doesn’t matter. Focus on your path, and let your resilience speak louder than any judgment.
- Finances and Side Hustles: Cut expenses wisely, but also explore ways to boost your income. You can’t cut expenses enough to make it work entirely, so look for side hustles or creative ways to increase your financial resources. Remember, you’re not alone in this – there are opportunities waiting to be discovered. Heck, you never know what you might find passion in. It was through all of this that Risen Devices was put into motion.
- Master the Art of Scheduling: Life can quickly become overwhelming, so become a scheduling wizard. Plan your days down to the hour. I mean it. I had an hourly journal that outlined exactly when I was going to do a 30 minute cleaning sprint, when I was going to work, when we were going to have dinner, and yes, I even scheduled both fun and quiet time for the whole family. Doesn’t scheduling fun sound….fun??! Create a routine that works for you and your kids. By removing the need to make constant decisions, you create a sense of stability and predictability that helps everyone in the family. I believe this really helped the kids adjust as well.
- Seek Additional Support: Explore if you qualify for additional services. Whether it’s state assistance, free community resources, or seeking help from your church or local community group – there’s strength in asking for support. Don’t hesitate to reach out; there might be valuable resources waiting to ease your journey. Use them!
- Prioritize Self-Care: Make time to move your body. I found solace and strength in running during that first a challenging summer. I had child care and I made sure that at least 30-45 minutes of their time watching the kids allowed me to go outside for a run. That summer I went from never running to running 100 miles in a month. Those roads were my therapy and they got me through a lot. My mental health needed this. It was really the only time I had to myself to think, to process, to breathe fresh air. I really don’t know how I would have gotten through my divorce and start this new life without having done that. It’s not just exercise; it’s therapy.
Remember, sweet mama, you are not alone on this journey. Embrace the challenges, celebrate the victories, and know that you have an incredible strength within you.
You got this,
Mallory ✨